Well I have been absent for a bit. I am sad to say my mental battle has been stronger than my desire to share and take part in outside. I have been creating though so I have not given into the battle completely. This is a difficult time of year for me and my struggle gets a little more difficult. Thank God that I have come as far as I have and do not fall as I used to into the dark hole of depression.

As I said I have been creating and it is still an outlet and survival tool for me. I have been making some little things to stir my creativity and keep me moving. Small things can do big changes for me. I used some things I have had for a long time, such as metal studs and beads, to create something new. Helping me keep in my mind that the past is not always a bad thing and those things I have saved can do me much good if I use them right.

My videos were kept up so I believe I hung on through this struggle better than I ever have before. I can do this. Thanks for stopping by and check out my videos if you get a chance.

Thank you,

Frances

 

Welcome to my space. This week has been an emotional struggle. I am normally in that constant struggle but because I am moving into discovering how to get through that dark tunnel it kind of stirs up all the gunk I have let build up around me and I am learning to find out what is reality and which is old residue.

I have started Bio Feedback in my therapy. What an amazing tool. I found my center for the first time and was able to see it on the screen while I was feeling it. It was absolutely awesome. I look forward to finding my calm, center and be able to access more. So amazing to finally have all that old stuff out of my way to explore my world from a better place. Finding my center will be my next step of my Journey.

This week’s tutorial is going to be how to make Baby Newborn Moccasins.

As I was making the video and getting together better patterns to use I became aware of how important it is to find the center of so many things including ourselves. I have not had much success with meditation but getting my tools ready and finding that center will change a lot of things for me. And creating these beautiful Newborn Baby Mocs are a great way to sit and concentrate on something other than your problems. Enjoy and thanks for stopping by this week.

Lim Lemtch, (Thank you in the Coeur d’Alene language)

Frances

We all need to feel safe and have a place where we can relax to enjoy our lives. That is what I am working on creating for myself. I began a year ago when we moved in our new home on our property after losing the old one to a chimney fire. I have been blessed to be able to fill my home with things that make me happy. I own almost 200 house plants and have enjoyed creating my space to feel good. I am known to some as the crazy plant lady.

Now I am working on my inner self to create that same kind of safe place for me. So that I can continue in my recovery journey to that Wise Mind and present living.

So this next week I will be focusing on BPE (building positive experiences). I have to work hard at this since I have lived a life of survival and now am concentrating on being alive and content with where I am. Just quoting affirmations doesn’t do anything for me. I have to connect the words within an affirmation directly to something real within me or my life or they are just empty words that waste my energy without results. Sometimes I even have to reconstruct the affirmation into words that connect to me. For instance the word “Joy” does not resonate with me. I have to replace it with “Happy” since I don’t know what Joy feels like. I am sure I have felt it but never knew what it was. I am learning, especially by having my grand babies around me. I am blessed to have them every week. They help me learn and grow much easier.

My PTSD comes from childhood trauma and it stunted my emotional development at a very young age and I never learned what normal emotions were. All I ever remember experiencing were anger, rage or submission to the environment.

I have made many attempts to try the recommendations of meditation, stillness and mindfulness. I could just never get ahold of the process. Since I have been introduced to the “Wise Mind” concept it has broken through to me and now I can find out how I can finally work on bringing my Reasonable and Emotional mind together so that I can live right here and enjoy my life and all the emotions that come naturally to others. My struggle to come back to life is finally becoming a reality for me. It is still a struggle but I am finally able to see and experience it as “being alive”.

My creativity level has increased since I started thinking about where I want to be within myself. Starting to find enjoyment in my days and what I am blessed with.

Next week’s tutorial for YouTube will be my Circle Feather Earrings using the two needle method. They are a pretty and easy project and I enjoy making them.

Thanks for stopping by and if you ever have any comments and/or suggestions I would be more than happy to have them or open to sharing my experiences and knowledge. Hope your next week is successful and enjoyable.

Frances

 

I created this place for myself to allow me to share, learn and express myself. It became a frightening intimidating and daunting experience. My self esteem wouldn’t allow me to move forward with it. She kept saying that no on cared and were not interested in who I am and what I love. I wanted to have a place to talk about my journey into the present from the dark hole I have been emerging from for the last 5 years. Explore what it was and how I can continue to heal my scars.

After a severe PTSD trigger in 2014 from a seriously dysfunctional workplace, I had to have intense EMDR therapy for 2 years to help me come back from a very dark, dismal and dangerous place. I started with high hopes and let it get the best of me and did not follow through. I couldn’t let it go though. It constantly came through to me as something I needed. Thank God I didn’t give up and here I am. I have started to make my path to what is called the “Wise Mind”. Not the crazy out of control emotional wreck I was in the past that was in a constant chaotic panic and not the logical, analytical and unfeeling brain that doesn’t allow me to be right here and experience my life. The Wise Mind allows me to be right here right now and feel what is real. My happiness is what I make for myself so join me in the journey.

 

I created my Facebook page as a format for my beadwork and creative side of life. When I created the website and started blogging I didn’t even understand what I was doing and didn’t realize that they would connect. Now it will give me a way to have to figure out how to work at tying it all together. My new YouTube channel will become part of the family and allow for another avenue for expression also. I am striving to increase my self esteem and hopefully create a safe place for me.

I am looking forward to this blogging thing to be good for me, finding my way through the social media to enjoy and share the things in my life that I have found to make my life better. I have chosen to make myself vulnerable to all who will listen. Big step for me and want it to be a healing experience. For those who stay welcome, those who choose to leave God Bless You.

This week’s project for my YouTube video will be a tutorial demonstration on how to make my turtle keychains.

My Mental Health will be focused on being right here in the moment and feeling what is real and not what my mind made up.

Thank you for being here and I look forward to sharing with you.

Frances