Lost in Place

I haven’t checked in, I am in a very difficult place. I feel stuck but not stopped. I got discouraged through the summer when I was finishing beadwork orders and they were not getting paid for. I do require a non-refundable deposit but just the fact that the customer did not follow through as promised triggered me and I have been fighting the feeling of wanting to just quit.

Thank God it has not affected my desire to continue creating and beading. Just my dream of reaching others through my website and Facebook page is definitely suffering. I do know that although I would normally start a deep decent into depression this time of year it is not happening for the first time in many, many years. I actually feel like I am enjoying the change of seasons instead of dreading the darkness it used to bring.

I have started sewing and it has become a fantastic release of creativity I have always wanted. I have made and sold 3 ribbon skirts that are my own design. I love designing them and selling the finished product.

So I am not completely shut down stuck. Just kind of Lost in Place. Maybe I am in a transition and don’t realize it. I am hopeful, happy and still productive just don’t have motivation to continue what I started. I guess maybe I need to re-focus and look to a new direction and recognize change is good. I should never give up on myself even when it feels bad and I know it is not.

That’s been my current struggle. I am fighting physical pain that my body is telling me that something is wrong and everything I do and thing is bad. My body is not responding to what my mind and soul know is true. It’s a battle but one I refuse to give in to.

Thanks for stopping by and still wanting to be with me. I pray the change of season brings you joy instead of sadness. I am so thankful I see my world as worth changing with and not giving up on.

Frances Arapis