Well it’s a new year and everyone is starting out fresh. Me, I am continuing on my journey. I don’t like the holidays and haven’t for a very long time. Although I had done better than I ever have this season, it is not a special time for me. The special time has come through my having the ability to see my life as a blessing instead of a curse. My focus is still on learning how to continue to heal and enjoy what I have.
I am working on putting my head knowledge into heart and soul work. Staying in the moment with my feelings and thoughts so that I can change them for the better. The trauma and pain seem like they just don’t want to give up their protection. I no longer need them but they hang on. I have to stay focused on every moment and work at being sure that I am trading the fear, pain and anxiety into living, loving and laughing to bring back the person I tucked away to protect.
There is no more reason to hide that person. She can be free to express and just doesn’t know it yet. I will work hard to bring her back with every thing I do. I am using lots of prayer in those moments allowing God to change my thinking and emotions to the life giving energy instead of the fearful and negative ones of the past.
I slipped into a little regression but have the ability to recover. It’s a good feeling to not have to rely on survival mode anymore but it is hard work to stay in the living state mind.
Even the difficult moments have that lesson I need to practice my gratitude. I still have a hard time convincing that person who felt the world needed to be “dealt with” instead of just letting them be will allow me to do what I need and want regardless of what happens around me.
It’s almost my birthday and I will be turning 60 years old. I am thankful I have made it to this stage in my life and want it to be a successful addition to my journey.
I will continue that journey to bring that perfect version to the forefront and consciously enjoy being who I am. The battle will continue of fighting that part of me that believes we are still in danger of the darkness and I will win moment by moment.
Thank you for stopping by and know that success is yours you just have to accept it and embrace it. God did not bring you this far to quit on yourself. Become aware of what your trials have taught you and begin to practice what you have learned.
Have a wonderful week