EDIT: This post was made in January of 2023, and I just now posted it because I wanted to share how things were. Yes, I am back and will see what life is doing for me now.
Well I kind of let life get in my way, AGAIN!! It’s not a bad thing. My Beading Circle is getting to be exciting and I am putting my time into getting inventory ready for the North Idaho Museum Gift Shop again. They will be opening next month for the 2023 tourist season. I have had people from across the country reaching out for me to do custom orders. My Etsy shop has been providing me with a blessed increase in income. I really do love what I am doing and doing what I love is what brings me joy
I have been contemplating on the last year and have become so grateful for the growth I have experienced in my healing. I no longer have the pain in my body from being stuck in the Fight or Flight mode. It has been work to come through it but is definitely a breakthrough for me. I have been in a morning routine for a year now that has now become part of my day. I try to get myself right in my morning hours before my day starts. I have a stretching routine I do every morning that has put my body in a much more relaxed state and I feel so much better than I have in a very long time. I have been able to decrease my meds and will hopefully soon be able to be without them completely. This will be my third winter season that I did not sink into the dark depression that I have had in the past. I spend a lot of my time contemplating how far I have come and how blessed I am. I have succeeded in changing my mind. Through many things I have learned to help myself and about myself I have been able to heal enough to start to feel peace and appreciation for where I am in my life. I now believe I have come through the darkness into the light. Learning to connect with myself and find my true identity and actually connecting to myself has given me a new life to experience and enjoy.
I have been planted here 6 years ago and have grown so much. It’s been 9 years since my severe trauma trigger that paralyzed me in my life. I have fought hard to get myself out of the darkness and learn how to live a better life and continue to learn to heal. I have been learning how to change my mind about a lot of things. Watching my thinking and turning my thoughts into a path of healing all by itself. I truly believe that we become what we think. If we think negative things then that is where our mind stays and brings us more of that. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7 
I am learning to pay attention to my thoughts and feelings. Finding which are helping me or hindering me. When I chose to start loving myself I decided I would help myself get connected and get better. I still struggle every day but now I have much more peace and gratitude than I ever have. I finally am enjoying my healing and living my life as much as I can. Now my days are full of creating my life and not letting my life control me.
I do check ins throughout the day and keep in touch with myself much more often than I ever have in my life. Now that I am finding out the truths about me and reconnecting with that identity I can enjoy my days and look forward to a new future. It does not mean my life is perfect by any means. I still have the days I struggle to get out of bed in the morning or get myself into the shower but now I have tools to find my way out of those space much quicker and stay out longer. My happiness is my choice and I am learning how to live it and love its
