I thank God so much for my journey. I am thankful that I was broken down and sent on a deep healing journey for the last 5 years. My struggles through the pain of coming back from that dark place I was in have given me a strength and confidence that I just never knew I could have. The time now is so crazy with our world state in the pandemic.
I know that if I had not been brought through this journey of climbing back up and getting stronger that I may not have handled this time as well as I am able to now. My life has not changed much at all through the current stay at home order. I was already self-isolated for the last few years to maintain my sanity and get stronger to face the day.
I was forced to focus on my and my healing to get better and although I still struggle through my days I feel better about me and my life than I have in a very, very long time. My online experience is doing very well to support me not only financially but my mental health heals more with my interaction with the people that appreciate me, my skill and my abilities. It really feels good to be succeeding at something I have always wanted. I still have to consciously bring to mind the things that are going right and how well I think and feel about my life. My body is still in the pain of the past and seems to not want to let the fight or flight fear go but I continue to push through regardless. It just makes me want to keep going to make the body match the mind and soul.
Taking care in the moment and being mindful of the self discoveries I am making daily. Breathing in the confidence of what I have already done and continue to do daily. Exhaling the doubt to free my body. I am finding out what mindfulness is. Mindful in every moment and what it means to me.
I have been having old self destructive and defeating thoughts come into my head from when I was in the dark depression days. They come automatic when a bump in the road happens in my day. I can recognize her now and I can actually just smile and let her go because I am not in that frame of mind any more. I won’t allow those little seeds take root any longer.
Staying in the moment and being mindful that I am succeeding. I am learning to enjoy the present even through the struggle. I am striving to be who I am and do what I want to do to make things better every day.
I don’t want to focus on what I should do or what I need to do. My mindfulness work is focused on what I want to be. It is a much lighter journey with less stress.
My focus is on adjusting to my desire to be free from that old thinking and staying right here right now and enjoying myself. With what I have.
I will be planting in my new planter garden my husband built for me. It gives me confidence that I have accomplished one more thing that I have always wanted to do and I look forward to reaping what I sow. It is worth the effort and in the times we are in it’s necessary. I will survive no matter what life throws at me.
Being taken care of with a give and take arrangement makes it a successful endeavor.
I am beginning to enjoy being out of the darkness and well into the light. I guess maybe I broke out of the cocoon who knows.
I will be hosting my first Beading Circle in a video conference tomorrow to demonstrate how I make my turtle earrings. This little guy is the reason I started my Facebook group. I saw so many people asking how these earrings were made and they were being ignored with no acknowledgement or response. Even I asked questions with no response. I felt that it was so very disrespectful that there was no acknowledgment to fellow beaders. So I started my teaching group on Facebook and it has grown quickly and a lot of people say they enjoy it. I have worked at figuring out how to make them now and thought it would be fun to try a live demonstration. Give people some interaction during these trying times. I enjoy the teaching and hope that I can continue it with success.
Well thank you so much for stopping by. I hope and pray that you and yours stay healthy. Be Safe and stay in the moment to know how great you are and thankful for what you have.
Frances