Life goes on whether you are ready or not. I never realized how hard it would be to heal from my pain. I am now in the process of rebuilding myself. There were times that I thought there was no hope for healing. I did 2 years of very intense EMDR that basically cleaned my slate of the trauma but now I have to battle that survival wall that was built. I have to relearn from where my emotional development was stopped. It is so difficult when the world around you expects you to be an adult when you are still lost in the childhood.
I have begun my battle. I am really struggling with the putting the healthy pieces back together but I know that I want it more than anything. It has forced me to take and honest, heart felt look at what’s around me. I can either give in to the depression, anxiety and turmoil or stand up and walk through the battleground fighting for my life ever day.
I have so much to be thankful for that I refuse to give in. I can see how people do not want to heal because it is an inner battle that is not for the weak. It seems at times that it is just not worth the pain and struggle. I just know I want what is rightfully mine. My God given life free of the shackles of the past.
It is time to live the rest of my life by choice. My goal will be to enter this normally difficult season with new weapons of faith and grace and become stronger. This week I look forward to my decision to step out into the world and start sharing my creativity beyond social media. I have decided to host a Arts & Crafts fair for my family and others in my community. I will fight the fear and anxiety and trust the success of my adventure rather hide in fear.
Hope your lives are doing what you need them to do. Thanks for stopping by.